I don't know how many readers I will have, but this is something I need to stay committed to. I want my reading audience to know a little about the author of this blog and why
My name is Karri, I'm up here in Canada.... "Hi from Alberta!"
Right now I am 35 years old, divorced and discovering life all over again. The last few years have been eye opening for me. I am becoming more self aware, and accepting then ever before in my life. Having grown up with a mother that had her own body issues, very thin, petite and always under eating... I did not realize what influence that had on my thoughts toward myself and others.
I didn't realize that it was ok to love myself and be ok of who I was. I hid behind clothing, wearing anything that just fit, baggy, frumpy, as long as it matched.. oh and had to be cheap... and I thought that was ok. The fact is I did not realize I was hiding, I did not realize my appearance was important to myself. I just thought it mattered what everyone else thought... and I didn't care as long as I could get along by "just" being accepted.
The thing is, it did matter. It mattered to me, but I just was not awake enough to know or understand what that meant. MY OPINION OF MYSELF, AND HOW I SEE MYSELF COUNTS TOWARDS ME. Not how my opinion of how other see me... no, no, no... but how I see myself. I have learned, when you really see who you are though your own eyes, that is when you have the power to change how you feel.
I was fortunate enough to have very loving friends and extended family to support me on the beginning of a new journey. I have discovered I am very girlie, I have a new appreciation for polka dots, pin up styles, make up, pedicures and manicures. I used to be the girl who never wore make up and or heels. I used to look like a washed up invisible fat girl.
Why am I doing this? Well a few reasons. #1 it make me feel good... I'm standing up for me, and I am standing up for other big people. #2 I love helping people see their potential especially when they can't see it. #3 Girl Power, I find women no matter what size they are face so many factors of fitting into society. We put so much pressure on our selves when it comes to family life, body image, career, financial etc, etc.
I now run into girls who are like how I was four years ago all the time. It breaks my heart to see beautiful people not seeing there own beauty. It really does, when I am at the store in a fitting room, I am a 4X,5X and I see a woman who is smaller then me looking at herself in the mirror feeling lost and defeated. I will step up. I am that girl who will help you shop for clothes and people mistake me for the sales clerk. I will make somebody feel sexy, and beautiful even if it's for a moment. I will remind you how beautiful and sexy you are, and help you see what you are really looking at... wonderful you!
Yesterday, I came across a video of a beautiful young lady who is plus size and going through some real hardships in her life. Her unbelievable courage and plea to be accepted for who she is and for people to stop bullying her and others touched my heart. As a fat person who has always been very big from childhood, I could relate to this girl. A lot of us were this little girl when we were younger or at some point in our lives. It is girls like these who inspire me. I want to motivate, show strength, understanding and just help another individual cope through the emotional hurdles of being over weight and learning to love thy self. I want to show at the end of the day, the world is changing, and it's going to be alright. I know if I had someone to get advice from, or just know there are people who have felt the same way and survived, would of really helped me when I was young.
I have been wanting to do something for 3-4 years now for the plus size community. I have a bad habit of always wanting to wait when the time is right. I always have an excuse like, when I have enough money, when I have enough time, when I build a web site, blah blah blah. I had to be honest with myself, I was miserable waiting for those moments because plus size acceptance is my true passion. So I told myself to just get off my ass and start doing it, what ever it is no matter how small just do it!
So here I am. I am trying really hard to dedicate myself to my blog on a regular basis. It's a start at least it's a start. I know more things are to come, bigger and better for sure, but it's a start.
Take Care of yourselves!
Missy B
