I just want to tell you that if you are single and tired of the dating life, you are not alone. Don't give up. I am here to remind you that being single can be a good thing. I want to remind you, that dating is supposed to be fun or at least a learning experience and that their is a purpose for it....
Choice... We do have it
I want to remind you that you are beautiful, bountiful and worth the effort. Just because we have jiggle, doesn't mean we have any less right to choice to the quality men we date. I don't want you to settle, heck I don't want to settle! When we date sometimes the focus is on just to be with another person because we feel lonely....sometimes we loose site of why we date. Dating is about exploring and sampling what is out their.
You have to kiss alot of frogs before you find a prince!
You need to ask yourself, if everyman you date is special or the one, how will you know when the right one is infront of your face? I'm glad when I date, I realize their are alot of dorks, or just men that don't suit me. When I am on a date and get an "ah hah!" moment like wow we seemed to really click, that is a green flag to remind you.... this is the stuff you are looking for. This is what ultimately is going to make your mate special. Who wants to pull Mr. Right out of the dork pile? I don't.
Men do like large women...Really?
Remember their are men who love all types of girls, and their are also men who prefer large women. That's right I said it! There really are men who love big beautiful girls. Let me remind you when I say this, I choose my words carefully, because I don't ever like to say men have a "fetish" for big girls. It's a preference. I look at a fetish as something to do with an action or an object with a living and sensual choice. Let me be clear their is nothing wrong with that either. Just because someone likes us because we are different from what North American Society dictates to us, does not mean we should be grouped as a fetish. Just like we might like men tall, thin, or older (those are just some of mine) people have preferences. Girls are you one of those women who like bad boys and men who are rough around the edges? Would you say you have a tough guy fetish? Noway. People can choose to prefer a larger person. And why not? More to love, more to hold.....and just more beauty and greatness to look at my loves! That being said... we can also change our minds and try new things, and not be closed off to stick with one category or type of man we want to date.
Don't settle!
Easier said then done right? As women we have been trained to be nurturing and compassionate. This is where the problem come in when we don't see we have settled. For one thing, we are high on being "in like" with someone. It feels good to be kissed, hold hands and even have sex on a regular basis. There is somebody at the end of the day that is going to interact with us intimately which doesn't come on a regular occurrence. Well right now your probably saying yeah, right so why are you telling me I am settling?
Here are some questions for you to be truthful about.
- Does your mate encourage you to have individual time for yourself and with your girlfriends without making you feel guilty?
- Does your partner earn your respect and trust by showing you how much they cherish you... not just talk, but walking the walk?
- Do they ask you how your day is and care genuinely care about your answer on a daily basis?
- Do you fight fair, no name calling, no pushing buttons, but healthy disagreements?
- Do they care about your satisfaction as much as theirs every time you are intimate?
- Can you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life just as they are right now... remember every single day of your life?
Ah hah! If you said NO to any of these you are totally settling. How are you going to find Mr. Right if you are too busy with Mr. Wrong?
We are all scared of dating. For some dumb reason we have been told by society we are not good enough because we are bigger. Stop thinking who else is going to love me? When will I get another chance? I can't be picky because I am fat. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I want you to know all women of all shapes and all sizes and even men in fact have the same darn insecurities as we do. I promise it is the truth.
Remember your worth
You are a Goddess. You were put on this earth to live your life to it's fullest potential. You deserve to sample all life has to offer.
Catch a guy looking at you while you were out? Instead of being negative, have you ever thought he might be admiring what he sees? You! Round, plump, full and curvy. Wonderful, pretty,beautiful sexy you! It's true. Why wouldn't he?
Don't forget you are very smart! Have you ever fought with your girlfriend over a guy she's dating because you totally see no way, no how, is he remotely good enough for your friend? You do this because you personally know how smart and awesome your best friend is. You fight so hard with her because you love her. You know her values and what she can offer to some great guy is just going to make his life even more magic. You need to have these kind of discussions with yourself. You need to see yourself in this light. We are only friends with people who we are attracted to. We are attracted to people who we share common bonds with. Like attracts like.
We are all entitled to riches this world has to offer, one of them being choice. Another is self awareness. We have a choice in how we see our selves. If you treat yourself good, and start to realize how awesome you are, I promise you will start weeding the good from the bad, and experiencing better options coming your way more frequently.
Conclusion
Dating is supposed to help us weed out the good from the bad. Dating is also about self discovery. So next time you are on a date or even just chatting it up before a potential one. Take some mental notes. See how you feel. Try to recognize red flags and green flags. At times you will get sick going on bad dates and feel like you keep reunning into the same wall. That is a pretty good indication you need a break from the dating world. At that time take one. And while you are taking that break take a moment to revisist some of the new stuff you have learned about yourself while on these not so great dates. You might just get tuned in with some great energy and thought about how to attempt your next dating round. Remember you have the choice and I hope they are all healthy and happy ones.
Happy Dating... and maybe even mating...lol!
Missy B.
No comments:
Post a Comment